What If I Never Existed
by Your-Guilty-Pleasure
Summary: Bitter words aren't meant to be taken seriously.
1. Harsh Words

**What if I never existed?**

_"Oh, won't you go on, Connor?" Abby snapped, angrily walking away from their argument._

_ "Abby, you're taking this all too far!" Connor followed close behind her._

_ "Just go away Connor!" Abby growled, refusing to turn to face him._

_ "Please, Abby, don't be such a child about it! I said I would replace it." Connor was talking with his hands. "Quit acting like you can't hear me! I exist Abby!"_

_ Abby froze, turned on her heels quickly and glared at Connor. How dare he call her childish! It was him acting so _childish_ that caused the problem._

_ "Connor, as far as I'm concerned right now, you don't exist." Abby seethed._

_ Connor held his tongue for a moment, "That's really mature."_

_ She didn't speak to him. She only stared at him accusingly, shook her head; then turned and continued on._

Abby recalled the last time her and Connor had spoken. They had been arguing over something petty, but she couldn't recall what it was. Whatever it was, it was completely not worth their argument. If she had known then what she knew now, she would have completely ignored whatever spurred the argument. She wouldn't have volunteered to go through the anomaly, just to get away from Connor.

Had she known that her going back would have changed her life forever, she would have stayed at home.

While on the other side of the anomaly, the team was attacked by raptors. Several soldiers got killed. Becker had barely managed to pull them back through the anomaly before he and Abby got killed themselves.

Abby completely expected to be greeted by a worried Connor when she stumbled back through the anomaly. So when she didn't instantly hear his voice, she pulled her knees underneath her and looked around. There was no trace of Connor anywhere.

"Danny, where is Connor gone to?" Abby asked while attempting to catch her breath.

"Connor?" Danny gave her a questioning look.

"Yeah, Connor." Abby echoed.

"Connor who?" Danny looked around the area surrounding them, at all the men in uniforms.

"Connor. Connor. As in Connor Temple. Tall, dark hair, a daft genius." Abby described Connor as simply as she could.

Surely this was a joke. Danny knew who Connor was.

"I don't know a Connor Temple." Danny responded back.

"Yes you do, he is brains of the team! Built the anomaly locking device." Abby's heart was starting to tighten.

"No, as far as I know, Hank Forman built it." Danny's head nodded over towards the tall blonde man next to the anomaly locking device.

Abby's eyebrows squeezed together as she studied the man's back (seeing as that was what was facing her), "No he didn't. Connor built it! He has built everything we use to help with the anomalies!"

"No, that was Hank." Danny corrected her.

"I think I would know what Connor built. He lives with me and uses all my bloody stuff to build with!" Abby argued.

"Abby are you okay?" Danny bent down next to her.

"I'm fine. Just tell me where Connor is!" Abby's chest heaved up and down heavily.

"Abby, I don't know Connor. I do know he doesn't live with you though, unless you've gotten a new flatmate within the last 24 hours. A new flatmate and boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? Connor's not my-"

"Raptors, eh? Bet that was a bloody nightmare." Hank had walked over to where she and Danny were.

She could almost see Connor in him. The way he dressed, the way he styled his blonde hair, even the way he talked.

"Um, Hank, maybe you should take Abby to the infirmary back at the ARC, she isn't feeling all too well." Danny suggested.

"I'm feeling fine! If someone would just tell me where Connor is!" Abby was growing frustrated and tired of this game.

"Who is Connor?" Hank asked, raising a blonde eyebrow.

"I don't know." Danny confessed.

"This is getting old! Someone tell me where he is! I swear if he set this up, I'll kill him!" Abby shoved off of the ground.

"Did you hit your head or something, love?" Hank said as his arm went around her waist.

Abby looked offended at the touch. Where did he get the idea he could just walk up and touch her so friendly like?

"No, I didn't hit my head! Why are you touching me?" Abby slithered away from him.

"Abby, love, whats wrong?" Hank asked, taking a step towards her.

"I don't know you!" Abby's throat began to tighten as tears stung her eyes, "Will someone please tell me where Connor is? This isn't funny anymore!"

"Abby, whoever this Connor person is...he doesn't exist." Danny informed her in a soft tone.


	2. I Still Run

"Babe, just calm down." Hank tried to put a reassuring hand on Abby's knee while they drove to the flat. Well, while he drove, seeing as Abby was on the edge of having a mental breakdown.

Abby slapped his hand away and kept her eyes focused on the world outside her window. It all looked right. A dull cloudy day, people busily walking up and down the streets, nothing out of place. Except Connor.

She bit back the tears that were so badly stinging her eyes. She wanted Connor right now. She wanted him to be driving her back to the flat and telling her off his next goofy invention while she dozed off with a smile on her face. Once they got home, he would feed Sid and Nancy, scurry off upstairs for an hour or two, then come back down for dinner and watch the telly with her. Anytime she heard him drift to sleep on his end of the couch, she would kick him. Just to laugh at his startled reaction mainly. Rex would swoop down to see what was going on, then he would snuggled on the middle cushion between Connor and Abby, enjoying their constant petting on him.

A new fear raised in Abby's heart. Her pets! The thought of Rex not greeting her when she walked in the door made her sick to her stomach. No Connor? No Rex? No Sid and Nancy?

"Abby, love, we're here." Hank took the key from the ignition of the Mini Coop, at least that hadn't changed.

Much to Abby's dismay, the car had come to a stop. Only, much to her surprise, she knew this place. It was her flat! The one she shared with Connor!

A new burst of energy surged through her. She had to see if any traces of her life were in tact. Her hand fumbled for the door handle, she was in so much of a hurry. Finally, she found the stupid thing, and forced herself out of the Coop.

"Abby?" Hank called after her as she ran up to the door.

Luckily, her key still fit the lock. In her rush, she didn't bother to take the keys back out, instead she charged on up the stairs. She needed to know that her life hadn't fallen to complete shambles.

She lost her footing temperamentally, but she regained it quickly and continued her race up the stairs.

"REX!" She called after reaching the top of the stairs.

More relief rushed through her when she saw the layout of her flat hadn't changed much. She did note, sadly, that Connor's stuff wasn't scattered about. His books were stacked up next to his favorite chair by the window. His crazy invention ideas weren't pinned up by the desk. All of this making her more painfully aware of Connor's non-existence.

"Rex!" Come here, boy!" She called again, fighting hard to keep her voice level.

"Abs, are you sure you're okay?" Hank was suddenly behind her, his hands on her shoulders.

"Rex?" Her voice broke.

There was no soft chirp to answer her. No adorable flying lizard to come down demanding his dinner. Nothing.

"Rex?" Hank echoed her. "Abs, Rex has been gone for a long time. Remember? Cutter took him to the ARC, then a few months back put him back in his own time. You mean to tell me you remember nothing?"

"Sid and Nancy?" She was grasping for straws.

"Who?"

That was it. Her tear-gates broke open. Her knees gave way and sent her crashing to the floor with sobs.

This isn't her life! This was just some sort of nightmare she was going to wake-up from.

"Abs!" Hank followed her to the floor. "I'm taking you to the hospital. You're seriously freaking me out."

Abby ignored the man who's arms were wrapped around her. Each sob that ripped it's way out of her, left her chest and throat sore and aching.

"Connor!" She wept into her hands. "Please Connor! I'm sorry! Please come back!"

"Abby!" Hank kept a tight hold on Abby as she kicked and thrashed. "Please come down!"

"I don't know you!" Let go of me! I want Connor!" Tears streamed down Abby's cheeks.

"Abby! Look at me!" Hank shifted so he was sitting in front of Abby.

Abby tried to reign in her emotions some, enough to look at him at least. She uncovered her face slowly to reveal the mascara streaking down her face. Tears still trickling from her eyes.

"I just want my best mate back." She choked.

"Abby," He sounded slight confused, "love, I've not gone anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. Now, I don't know who this Connor person is, but he isn't all the things you say. Cause that person is me. I'm your best mate, your boyfriend, the inventor for the team."

Abby bit her lips to restrain the new round of sobs that so badly wanted to come out.

"Come on, lets get you to the hospital." Hank offered.

"No!" She snapped out quickly.

"You're freaking me out! You're imagining people and forgetting things. I mean, you sound like Cutter when he was on about that Claudia woman! Only you're being slightly more dramatic about it.

Claudia?

Abby's mind reeled back for a moment. That's right! When Nick had gone through the first anomaly he came back babbling about some Claudia woman. Was that what had happened? Had something that happened in the past changed her entire life?

The most important question was though: How in hell was she going to undo it?

_** Sorry it took a while. Work and school have been keeping me super busy! Hope you approve! **_

_** RAWR**_


	3. A Window Pane Apart

Abby hid in her room for the rest of the night. Most of it was spent in frustration from holding in tears and her mind being unable to come up with a reasonable explanation for the situation. She pulled at her hair and knocked some things off her dresser whenever her thoughts hit a dead end. After a few hours she was desperate for some piece of reality, just anything to let her know she wasn't completely bonkers. Carefully, she slid her mobile from her pocket and stared at the screen. It was a photo of Connor sleeping on the couch with Rex sleeping on his lab along with Sid and Nancy sleeping at his sides. Her fingers carefully touched the screen, as if it might shatter and disappear with everything else in her life.

A rough sob ripped through her chest as she squeezed her eyes shut, "Connor," she whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

With a heart full of sadness and conscience full of guilt, she crawled into her cold bed. Her fingers pressed a number into her phone and brought the mobile to her ear. More tears formed in her eyes as she listened to an old voice mail from Connor.

"_Abby, can you pick up some birthday cake ice cream since you're out? It'd be a nice treat after such a long day, don't you think? Hope you get this in time, if not, oh well. See you back at the flat!" _He sounded so happy in the message. That was just a week ago.

She pressed a number on the keypad and the message played once more.

After countless times of repeating the message, Abby had memorized every breath Connor took in the message, figured out all the facial expressions he would have been making, and missed him that much more.

She had to get Connor back. She couldn't.-she CAN'T-live in this world for the rest of her life.

Abby kept repeating the message until she finally cried herself to sleep.

* * *

When she opened her eyes, she saw Connor. He was sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, the morning sun shinning in on him as he studied away at one of his books.

"Connor!" Her voice was thick with tears.

She flung the blankets off of her and rushed over to him. When she went to wrap her arms around him though, he shattered and the pieces vanished.

"No! Connor!" She patted the seat.

"ABBY!" Connor's voice called from outside the window.

The blonde's head snapped up and she focused on the dark figure outside.

The sun was gone and a huge inky black hole was swirling behind Connor.

"Connor!" Abby instantly found the window lever and began fiddling with it, trying to reach Connor.

"I just want to make you happy." He smiled that adorable dimple smile at her and began to turn towards the vortex.

"Please, Connor, NO!" She fought relentlessly against the window, it wouldn't budge though.

Abby watched helplessly as Connor slowly faded from the window seal and into the throbbing blackness behind him.

Abby cursed the window and started to pound the glass, she begged Connor not to go. Connor's eyes suddenly shifted into a glare, staring at something behind Abby. A new dilemma came to Abby's mind, if she looked away from Connor he could disappear but she wanted to know what had robbed his smile away. Accepting the challenge, she turned her head slowly.

Her bedroom had smeared into a different image. It was the time in the anomaly when she ran through to get away from Connor. She watched herself narrowly escape several attacks from a raptor, watched several soldiers not get so lucky, and watched one man dressed in solid black tackle a raptor that almost got her. The solider luckily had his gun out and shot the creature at his first opprotunity.

"Becker!" She heard herself yell.

"Get back through now Abby!" The solider ordered after getting to his feet.

"Becker?" Abby mouthed to herself.

Thats right! Becker was there with her! He should remember Connor!

She quickly looked back at Connor who was watching her with sad eyes. He was almost completely gone now. He pressed his gloved hand against the window then her eyes witnessed Connor vanish.

Abby awoke from her nightmare with a start.

Everything was the same way it was when she went to bed, only now her mobile was dead.

Now she had some sort of clue, Becker!

Becker had to remember Connor! He could help her! He wont think she is completely off her rocker.

_**I know its short and not very detailed, but I wanted to write something. I'm sorry it took so long. If you saw my class schedule last semester, add in work, I had no life. Haha. I hope this was...acceptable. Please let me know what you think! I'll try to be frequent with the updates, but I'm doing my best!**_

RAWR


End file.
